Friday 21 February 2014

breathe


It's strange - you don't really appreciate the ease of breathing until it gets taken away from you.
When breathing becomes a conscious effort, the only thing you can focus on is gasping for oxygen. It's like drowning. Your heart murmurs rapidly to the beat of the panic, and desperation sinks in slowly then all at once.

I'm extraordinarily grateful for my Hall neighbours for showering me with such kindness and concern. Natasha held me when I was frantically trying to will the pain of my chest away and with Zhi Hao, they both took me to the A&E at NUH. I've so much to thank the A-Blockers for. They really were there for me every step of the way - Giving me warm hugs, giving me food and drinks, checking up on me, making sure I was resting and not exerting myself. I feel so undeserving of their unconditional love and care but thankful nevertheless. Shout-outs to all those who sent their well wishes on FB or whatsapp, it really made me smile.

The left side of my chest has been hurting and I'm having difficulty breathing for about a week. I've done an ECG and an X-ray but they're not sure what's happening either.
Char Tay says it's probably physical, mental and emotional for me; she knew that for months I've suppressed my own dealings to focus on DP and now the outpour of emotions and whatnot just shocked my body. Maybe? I don't exactly know for sure. I'm still under review so fingers crossed.

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