journey

The MSI journey has finally come to an end.

I'm very ecstatic and proud to be your Miss Personality - especially so, because it was voted by my fellow ladies who got to know me during these past few months. 

I've received a lot of comments from family, friends, past Queens and finalists that they all felt I did tremendously well and thought I would have gotten placed in the Top 5. Even though I didn't, being a finalist and winning Miss Personality is more than I could ever dreamed of achieving. If you asked me a few months back, I would have laughed in your face and perhaps even scoffed at the idea of me being in a pageant. When my friends initially found out I was in MSI, they all thought I was joking and yet here I am, living in this supposedly absurd notion that became a reality. 

It has been a tough and an exhausting journey but I'm so thankful to have this batch of ladies by my side. Together we went through intensive lessons to speak well, have poise and deportment and learn how to catwalk in different attires. They taught me things I never knew - how to draw my eyebrows, how to curl my hair without burning myself, how to model in 6 inch heels etc. More than that, they taught me to be caring, to be kind, to be confident and to be gentle.

I love how that despite it being a competition, we sincerely help one another out, be it buying lunch/dinner, sending them home or giving friendly and helpful advice whenever one of us needed it. 

We've also seen so many past finalists such as Kyla, Jia Min, Vivi, Stella, Ashley, carve out time from their busy schedule to come back and help the current batch. An insane amount of gratitude also goes out to the MSI Organizing Committee such as Janice and Sharon to help make our pageant life as smooth and easy as possible. 

To be honest, I used to be one of those people who didn't think much about pageant or the people involved in it. I literally had to be forced to be part of Eusoff Hall pageant. Now, I'm completely changing my tune.

Before I joined this pageant, I came from a very bad place. Things were just going downhill in record speed until I found myself in Nepal and that's where SWA and MSI found me and scouted me out. I started out as someone who was swallowed by her demons but now I've become a better person, a better woman. 

I have this to thank to the people I met in this pageant. I learnt from each and every one of you:

To Kim - who's the cutest and most loving personal cheerleader I'll ever know,
To Jojo - a fierce, strong and independent Sexy Mama who's always unafraid,
To Deborah - full of love and kind words and all sorts of helpful (#debiseverywhere)

To Sim Mel - my favourite sunshine girl whom I secretly love even though she always laughs at me

To Thara - for making me tell me how beautiful I am and infecting me with your positiveness

To Kayley - the loveliest heart and possibly the most gorgeous girl at IRAS

To Lisa - my fellow nigga for all the times we laughed at ourselves

To Sonia - for all those witty quips and helpful insights to things I never knew o.o 

To Jo Ring - for your shyness yet insane determination

To Caro - for your inspiring resilience and perseverance 

To Aminah - for all our secret talks during the car rides hehe 

To Vanessa - for all those times you entertained me with your accent and being someone whom I can look up to 

I'm not free from my past but I am in a better position to deal with them now. I'm a lot more self-assured and empowered. To spare everyone the gory details, let's just say that it's been a long time since I have been comfortable in my own skin and this is a gift that I will fight my hardest to keep. I came so far and I never want to go back.

I'm sharing this little fun fact about me because I guess I just want to share to those who feel like they are stuck in a bad place; who feel like they are suffocating by their own crap - Your bones are not made of glass, you can take life's hard knocks. Things can get better, even in the most unexpected of ways. Don't be blinded by your own problems and open your eyes to a way out. Because my eyes are wide open and it looks amazing.