finally crawled out of my hidey-hole onto this virtual plane
I created this small little space in the infinite and ever-changing digital web because I wanted somewhere to deposit my thoughts and feelings about anything and everything; to do as I wish and to articulate as I like. And one day, last year, I decided that it was time for me to take a break. Not because I didn't have anything to say, but because I didn't wish to say anything. Just as I have the power to speak, I also have the power to silence and I left it here, lingering in limbo for the past year or so.
Honestly, it's quite strange looking at all my past posts - viewing them through a lens and eyeing them as historical artifacts of sorts. Discourse is situated in history - the photographs I posted triggers a spontaneous and unexpected momentary sensation of the past, songs I once obsessed stimulated fleeting feelings which took me back to an immediate past. Browsing through them made me cling to a past self that I look upon with a blend of happiness and sadness - a nostalgic take on a past persona that is so strange and familiar at the same time.
Every moment forward puts a distance between me and her, and that bridging of distance in space and time has given me a much needed perspective.
Xue and I spent last night reconnecting after months of radio silence - 6,060 miles apart, and still we were both consumed by the exact same things that led us to disappear for a good chunk of time.
We talked about how we were thankful for the grace of perspective, and though we are still stumbling, we are grounded by a quiet acceptance of the things that have happened for it had a bigger purpose and reason.
Incidentally, I took out my well-loved travel wallet and found some folded receipts - it was dated 2012 for one wool beret and one chai latte. I didn't realise immediately it was mine until I deduced that there could only be one possible person who actually drinks chai latte. It has been so long.
P.S. XUE WA ME
Having said that, I shall gingerly move into yet another crazy year